Monthly Archives: July 2011

I hate good intensions

In Scarface Tony Montana said, “All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one.” Gangster or not you need to have this same conviction. When you lose the power behind your name you lose your life. If you cannot be trusted you can only go so far. Having good credit means I will keep my word to you even if it becomes difficult. Good credit means I know what I am asking you for and I am willing to sacrifice to get it back to you.

In the rap song “Where I’m From” Jay-Z said, “your word was everything.” “So everything you said you’d do, you did it”. And it really is just that simple. If you give your word you follow through. This is true on the streets, in the boardroom, in business, in life and in relationships. Nobody wants to hear your excuses about why you reneged. And nobody is going to want to do business with you, work with you or get involved with you again. Word get’s around and when your reputation is tarnished it is hard to fix.

Your credit report is a reflection of how you treat people. It is my belief, that how you do anything is how you do everything. If you do not pay your bills on time it is likely that you will not do other things on time. If you do not pay your bills at all it is likely that you will forfeit in other places as well. If you are known for paying on time or in full it is expected that you will follow through, be early, proactive and thorough. These are the types of people banks, lenders and companies want to do business with. These are also the kind of people that make good lifelong friends and partners.

In one of my poems I wrote, F*ck good intensions, you always want to mention that. But who the hell cares, when you’re not there when you said you would be. Keep your intensions away from me. I need some integrity.

I learned the hard way that THEY say things you want to here when THEY are trying to get what THEY want from you. THEY are the losers, the cheaters and the takers. THEY have no intensions on following through and THEY are willing to lose their name for it. When you become a person of ill repute you limit your chances of ever really becoming successful. In the event you do become successful it will be short and you will fall. Bad credit and a bad name will eventually catch up to you and when it does it will bring you down where you belong.

The world is made up of predators and preys. At any given time you are either one or the other. It is important that you know your role and while you are playing it safe guard yourself from being taken advantage of but control yourself from taking advantage of others.

When it relates to your FICO score, payment history is 35% of your score and utilization is another 30%. Those two elements alone make up more than have of your score. The same is true for your life. If you keep your word at all times and not over utilize the people around you, your reputation will always be good. There is no respect or reward for a person whose word is not important to them.  If you do those two things you are more than half way to becoming a successful person. Add in the rest of your life experiences and you are there. A good reputation can take you very far.

Having good credit…Now That’s Presidential!


You can be right or you can be happy #behappy

Ask any man and he will tell you that he doesn’t want a woman that agrees with him all the time. Most men want a woman with a brain and some ideas of her own. A man is comfortable with a woman who can argue her point but no man wants a woman who argues just for the sake of arguing. While working in the barbershop the number one complaint I heard from men about women was that women never know when to shut up. Even when they are wrong they just keep arguing and nagging. Men do not like to listen to women talk very much so they especially don’t want to hear us nag.

Women if you are right I know it is hard to keep quiet but I assure you if you do it things will work in your favor. The issue will reveal itself and whether or not someone says I told you so should not matter because deep down inside everyone knows who is right. I am not telling you to be a push over or to take anybodies crap. And I know your strategy might be to keep nagging because he will do it just to shut you up. But that will only last for so long and in the long term he will lose respect for you.

Men are competitive so it works in their favor if you put up a little bit of a fight. That way they can prove their point, change your mind and win. The reason they want you to disagree is so they can get you to agree. They really like to win. Of course all of this is subconscious and even some of the men reading this right now won’t be willing to admit it or won’t have any idea what I am talking about.

The bottom line for both men and women is that you can be right or you can be happy. Choosing your battles is a smart move. Thinking you are right all the time is foolish. Nobody is right all the time. NOT EVEN ME! LOL! Even on the days that you are 100% correct it may be worth the peace of mind to just be quiet and let the wrong person learn their lesson.

I learned this from my mother. She is the most patient person I know. She is very calm and she knows how to choose her battles. I have a saying that I use to describe her and it is, she will never beat you but she will always win. This happens because she uses poise and finesse to get what she wants. Even with me, my sister and brother she did not always have to be right nor did she force us to do things. She made us think it was our idea. And although she was usually right she would let us discover that for ourselves.

You can use this in all your relationships and life situations. You will find that it helps you communicate better, negotiate better and feel better. It cuts down on stress and makes an otherwise tense situation more peaceful. Whether you use it at work, with your children, your significant other or with your friends it can be a valuable way to keep the peace and communicate more effectively.

Knowing when to be quiet…Now That’s Presidential

Would you mind buying me a drink?

“Would you mind buying me a drink,” what kind of question is that? I really do not think this is an appropriate question for a man or a woman. It sounds either like desperation or game. A male colleague of mine said he walked up to a woman at the bar and said this. He also said she bought the drink, they had great conversation and they both went their separate ways without exchanging numbers or having expectations.

I she laughing with him or at him?

The problem I have with the whole thing is male or female you do not ask someone to buy you a drink. It is tacky and shows poor taste. The polite thing to do is to wait until you have been asked and then accept. What are you doing out at the bar without enough money to buy a drink? And if you have money than why are you asking someone else to spend their money on you?

Men buy women drinks out of the kindness of their hearts. (And to get them drunk but that’s another blog for another day.) If a woman asks a man to buy her a drink she comes off greedy and desperate. The same goes for a man only multiply it by ten. If a man asks a lady to buy him a drink he comes off like a broke con artist. If I brought a man home to my parents and told them the way we met was he asked me to buy him a drink, my father would tear into him and expose all his demons or insecurities.

I really didn’t get it. He said he had money for a drink he just wondered if she would do it. Again, it sounds like game. If you did not have money you should not have gone to the bar and you really cannot afford to date. Dating takes discretionary income. If you have money, buy your own drink. Who the heck are you that you get to go around testing people? It is not fair to start a friendship off with a test. And furthermore, your grading system could be off.

100% of the time if someone wants to buy you a drink they will offer. If you have to ask they were not intending to do it. They may not mind doing it but they are now wondering about you. They are wondering why you asked them to do it. You might get lucky and catch an insecure person who doesn’t know how to say no or you might end up getting laughed at, which is what I did when I heard it.

If a man walked up to me and said, “would I mind buying him a drink?” I would first laugh. Then I would respond, “no, I do not mind buying you a drink, but I do mind that you asked.” I have no problem spending money on a stranger male or female. Once I was in a bar with my boyfriend and the girl sitting next to us said it was her birthday. I said “baby, let’s buy her a drink for her birthday.” It is not about the money or about wanting something in return it’s about the moment hitting you to do it. You should check your principles and intensions when asking someone to do this for you.

Having principles…Now That’s Presidential!

Hiring: part-time super heroes…apply within. @Johnhopebryant #BankingOnOurFuture

Kine' & John Hope Bryant (Chairman of Operation Hope)

Spiderman spins his web to catch a thief. Superman is faster than a speeding bullet. Batman has a utility belt full of tricks to trap the Joker, Penguin and Riddler. What kind of super power do you possess? I have great decision making skills and I choose to pass down my financial knowledge and decision making skills to the next generation.

I am a Banking On Our Future, Operation Hope volunteer. I teach financial literacy to elementary and high school children. The 4 week program gives students lessons in dignity, balancing their budget, understanding credit, managing their spending habits and investing their money for the future. The time I spend in the class room is fun and rewarding. The class is delivered in a conversational, active participation, activity driven way. The children enjoy it but I do too. I am always surprised by the responses the children give to my questions and and the questions they ask me.

Finding a way to give of yourself is the easiest way to fulfill your dream of being a super hero. The great part about being a volunteer super hero is you don’t have to give up your lifestyle. You can do it in your spare time. Nor do you have to go through the work of creating a charity. All you have to do is pick one that is already created.

There are countless different charities and organizations that thrive on the time, energy and donations of loyal supporters like you. Choose a platform that warms your heart and it will be easy to give your support. You may like feeding the hungry, building houses, reading to the elderly or aiding sick children. Whatever makes you feel like you are making a difference do it. It may be small to you but it can be a huge difference in the life of the people in need.

Discovering Operation Hope was a dream come true for me. I finally found a way to give back to the world what I took from it. My lessons will now be passed down for generations and generations. I did not have to create anything or do anything to get started. John Hope Bryant had already done the hard work years ago. All he needs me to do is commit a small portion of my time. John Hope Bryant helps me use my super powers for good. I cannot wave my magic wand and eliminate debt and lack in the world and replace it with abundance and reciprocity, I have to teach it.

The world is a better place because charities are in place. What are you holding on to that the world needs? Give it away unselfishly and you will be a part of the world change. Make a decision today to pick a platform. Presidential Lifestyle’s platform is financial literacy. Next decide what charity you will give your time, energy and money to. I have chosen Operation Hope. Then do the work and be a part of the experience. A few months out of the year I teach the Banking On Our Future series. Last share the experience and encourage others to give back. I am telling you about my experience and pushing you to find what works for you. We all have to help someone. Send out your positive energy so that the world knows that help is on the way.   

Send this blog to someone you think would enjoy it. Leave a comment and tell me what your platform is.

Giving back to the world…Now That’s Presidential!

I seek the maximum pleasure out of life…C’est si bon!

In the gym a few mornings ago I spoke with a girl who started coming in January. (Most people who started in January have stopped coming.) She has been committed. I asked her, “what’s your motivation?” She replied, I use to be a personal trainer but I got injured and gained almost 100 lbs. I use to love my body and now I don’t. So I look at pictures of my past clients to motivate myself and stay out of my comfort zone. I don’t let myself get comfortable.

This is what winning looks like.

I loved that statement because a few weeks ago I talked about getting out of your comfort zone. Do you think it’s comfortable for Olympic Gold Medalist to awaken every morning at 5:00am to practice for 4 years straight? No, they do it because they love what they do and they want to win.

What’s your motivation? Why have you committed to your goals and what keeps you committed? What will these goals mean to your life? How do you stay on track? Do you have pictures, old clothes, a support system or something else? Is your motivation mental, physical, spiritual or emotional. Maybe you are holding on to the words someone spoke to you. (Words that were good or bad.) Maybe it’s your boss you admire or do you have affirmation statements or a person holding you accountable. Visualizing yourself enjoying the fruits of your labor can be motivating.

My motivation is the thanks I get from people I have helped. I love to make life more rewarding, more comfortable, more convenient, more loving and more exciting for the people around me. Hearing their success stories keeps me going. The other reason I stay motivated is because I tried to stop a few years ago but the God Power inside of me would not let me. There is a fire inside of me that wakes me up earlier in the morning ready to take one more step toward my Perfect Lifestyle.

Sometimes I like to act like a super hero. 😉

I seek the maximum pleasure out of life so a lot of what I do is out of feeling good. I love living the good life and making good decisions. I enjoy helping people because it makes me feel powerful. Have you figured out what makes you feel powerful? Do you know what truly makes you happy? Really get down to the root of the feeling so you can recreate it over and over again. I am willing to help you.

I posted “My #1 Talent” back in January with the Self Business Plan link in it but I realized it may have been too much information all at once so feel free to take you time and email me for assistance. My goal is to help others find out two things: 1. What they really want out of life and 2. why they want it. The WHY is the motivation.

Example: I do what I do because it makes me feel good to make other people feel good. Giving gifts, advice, offering rides, baby sitting, tutoring, lifestyle consulting and pampering are all helpful acts. The result is I feel good and others feel good too. Every one of my action are directly connected to that result.

What result do you want to achieve? We are going to find it together, one step at a time. Your Perfect Lifestyle is on its way. I really want you to continue to Create Your Perfect Lifestyle.

Knowing why you want it….Now That’s Presidential!


When life throws a punch you better punch back (harder)

When I was younger I had no real idea what TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD meant. It seemed like words to say to sound worldly or experienced. Now that I am older, the way that my life played out, I understand it better. Take the good with the bad means there should be a lot of good in your life and there may be some bad. Go ahead and take the bad so that you can really celebrate the good. If you do not take the bad you may not get all the good you are looking for. Just like when you take medicine with orange juice. The medicine is still there you just use the orange juice to mask the bad taste. After that you feel better. Take the good with the bad. Don’t take the bad all by itself. Put some good with it and it will help you get through it faster.

I pride myself on having the perfect lifestyle and living my dreams. I have been doing this since I was young. When I was in my twenties I use to work three days a week. Which ended up being about 40 hours because I would work 10-15 hours per day. I loved it. It was easy to me and it gave me flexibility. This schedule allowed me to travel, hang out with friends and family and pursue my hobbies. I was in a band and we would perform on Saturday nights and on Sunday I would hang out with friends during the day and my parents in the evening. I was able to do everything I wanted to do. This was the perfect lifestyle for me. I enjoyed every minute of it.

By enjoying every minute of it I was not taking the good with the bad. I was just taking the good. So what was going on with the bad. I really couldn’t tell you. If anything bad, tough, hard, scarey or dramatic happened I would shut it down and do something else. I do not like suffering. I do not like pain. I am a die hard optimist who loves pleasure.

This year I have the odd feeling that I may have to do some things that I do not enjoy so much. I may have to TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD. I am not saying that I will do it for very long. Nor am I saying that I am going to pretend to enjoy it. I am just saying I am going to take it.

When I was in elementary school I was a tomboy and I would teach my younger brother how to fight. I remember telling him that I let the other person get the first punch because I am a peaceful person and I need them to punch me to piss me off enough to beat the crap out of them. They would get their one punch in and I would end the fight. I didn’t like to get hit so I made sure I didn’t. I could take a punch but I didn’t like it so I would avoid their fist and come back strong with both of mine.

That is the way I am addressing this year. I will let life throw a punch but I am going to come back with a combination that will end the fight and put me on top. World champion with the PRESIDENTIAL LIFESTYLE!

So go ahead let life punch you but you better punch back. (hard) I say this with love; be peaceful and productive but don’t let anything beat you down. You do the punching. You are a fighter and a winner.


Younger sis Ra, Me, Older sis Calissa, Brother Yasin, Sis-in-law Taneesha


Wait for it… wait for it… click here now!

I have to buy a house on this street... Lol!

When you are working toward your perfect lifestyle you may see other people get blessings. You may see things that you want that you can’t afford and you may want to go places that you can’t get to yet, but do not get discouraged or too impatient.

Wait….but keep working!

If you spend money you don’t have you will never reach your perfect lifestyle because you will be stressed out. The pictures you see in magazines and the things in the department store windows are images that help you stay encouraged and motivated. It’s ok that you missed this sale or this trip. You will find one when the time and money are right. Meanwhile, stick to your plan and save the email, picture or memory so you will remember all the things you want to do and buy when you are ready.
Here is the exception. Let’s say you pray for something specific like a case of special wine for a really low price or tickets to a favorite sporting event for dirt cheap or a pair of shoe that get marked down. Consider that your personal blessing and if it’s in your budget buy it. If the thing you asked for specifically appears buy it because you specifically asked for it. The Universe heard your request and is rewarding you. In my book The Art of Starting Over I talk about rewarding yourself. Use these incentives to reward yourself when you have been on the right track. The rewards will keep you going.

Other than that instance. Be patient…

Patience is a virtue I was not born with it. I learned it. And I am learning it everyday. Get yourself a friend who can talk you down when you are about to jump off a cliff and ruin all your hard work. Have the strength and self-control to wait it out. Get support from your other success driven friends and colleagues and get ready for your windfall. You just put your head down and keep working. Play your theme songs and go back and read your commitment. Patience is to dreams what paint is to artwork. It’s necessary!

Start by praying for patience.... and know that your request has been heard keep working.