Category Archives: Well being

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Don’t nobody bring me no bad news

News Time

News Time (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The local news is nothing but back to back sad stories about killings and tragedy. The national news reports on economic failure and divisiveness. The global news is the worst with stories of war and poverty. And if that isn’t enough the phone is ringing and the caller id says it’s your friend, you know the one who has never had a good day in their life. So you know it is more bad news!

At some point you have to shut it all off and say “don’t nobody bring me no bad news.” Too much negativity will drain the life out of you and turn you into a cynical, fearful person. If you cannot completely shut it out try your best to find a way to minimize it and find a way to detox so that you are not holding on to it. Clear your head with soothing music, a glass of wine or shot of lemon grass, get in a comfortable spot and think constructive thoughts that will take you to your happy place.

Turn off the television and the radio or tune into more rewarding, informative programming. Sometimes it seems that there is nothing on the television or radio that is positive. However, these days you have more choices with cable, Netflex, satellite, internet radio and more. Search for something that interest you and tune in regularly. If you can’t get away from bad news completely, at least counter the bad news with some good, fulfilling news.

You should get your family and friends involved so that you can really be successful. For example: tell your children that they are not allowed to whine or complain between the hours of 7:00pm – 9:00pm. Don’t answer the phone or if you do tell your bad news friends that you have run out of bad news space and when you have more you will call them back. (Don’t be insensitive) You may not be able to pull this off every day because some complaints are legitimate and some bad news is time sensitive.  I am not suggesting you become numb and uncompassionate. I am suggesting that you keep your spirit clear to receive the good you deserve.

Remember the bad news refers to you too, so don’t you bring yourself or others any bad news either. As much as possible refrain from gossiping, complaining, and spreading pessimistic energy.  Everything will be ok because you will make it that way. And you will instruct the world around you to keep it that way.

Good news…Now That’s Presidential!


If you put yourself first are you being selfish?

ESTELA, Masaje facial

ESTELA, Masaje facial (Photo credit: estelabelleza)

When you are on an airplane the flight attended tells you that in case of an emergency put your mask on first before assisting others. In this example it sounds like the flight attended is suggesting that you leave your child or loved one in harm’s way. However, if you think more clearly you will understand that if anything happened to you your child would be left in harm’s way. To insure that you will be able to help someone else you have to first take care of yourself.

This process is something I call, “Selful” this is when you know how to take care of yourself just as well as you take care of others. Being selful can make life better. It can allow you to be more effective when doing the things you need to do for others because you will have more energy and strength. Taking care of yourself is essential to taking care of others. Not only will you set a good example but you also set the precedence for how you want to be treated.

Nobody will fault you for being selfull and if they do you know that they are selfish. If you have too many selfish people in your life they will drain you and you will have nothing left to give. Be aware of this and do your best to either limit your exposure or know when to say no. Being able to say no sometimes or at least say not right now can help you juggle all of your tasks. No, is not a bad word and putting something off until it is a better time for you will allow you to complete it with willingness instead of resentment.

Having a heart to serve is honorable but you have to be able to honor yourself in the process. Don’t stop giving just start with yourself.

Passion for people…Now That’s Presidential!


I love my lifestyle

Have you been complaining and fussing about the way your life turned out? Do you feel like you wish you could change a few things? It’s easy to feel that your life is beyond your control or that your dreams are out of reach. Occasionally, bad decisions or bad luck can put you in a place where you wish you could do something different. You can! You can love your lifestyle.

The first step is admitting that your life is not all bad. There is something good amongst you and you should recognize it. Also, recognize your accomplishments. You have done positive things and you should be proud of them.

Next think of the things you like most in life and begin enjoying them again or more often. Eat more chocolate, go to more concerts, cook your favorite food, hang out with your fun friends, do little things that make you smile. You should write a list of all the things you like and commit to rewarding yourself with them as often as necessary. If you see yourself working hard and getting tasks done pick something from your list and reward yourself with it.

While you are at it create a list of your needs and who can give them to you. Be realistic and plan to give other what they need in return. Be clear as to what your needs are and begin to vocalize them so that you will attract them. Be careful not to complain. Being vocal means setting expectations and suggestions so that those around you are clear on what makes you smile.

Delegate some tasks so that you are not so over-whelmed. Everything that has to get done doesn’t have to get done by you. This may even give you a chance to teach someone else something they can use to succeed in their life. Let go and get the help you deserve. You do not have to do this all at once. Take one task at a time. Slowly work these habits into your life until you can truly say, I love my lifestyle.”

Stay active doing things that make you smile and eliminate the negative as much as possible. If you don’t like it change or adjust it. Use your power to create a happy lifestyle. Your happiness is an important part of the world, your world that is. There is nothing more special than looking forward to the influence of tomorrow.

Loving your lifestyle…Now That’s Presidential!


The Bright Side of Divorce

When I endeavored to write something bright and positive on a subject as dark as divorce, I thought about some of the most common reasons that people give for staying in bad marriages. Reasons like, they would be breaking a covenant with God, the negative impact on the kids and finances, and being lonely and possibly never marrying again. There are more, but after a while they all start sounding like excuses to stay in a bad situation; more out of fear and comfort than out of any real belief that it would be pleasing to God, best for the kids and financially or emotionally profitable. To illustrate and support my beliefs, I offer my own personal defenses and also provocative quotes from writers who have found eloquent words to convey the smart, brave and responsible reasons for choosing happiness.

I’m breaking covenant with the person God sent to me: God didn’t put most people together. Most people put themselves together with a person they were drawn to based on superficial things like physical attraction, financial security, and biological clocks ticking out of control. If it was deeper than that – for example, love and companionship, it was still most likely guided by your own personal feelings and not some spiritual experience. Having a wedding in a church does not make it a spiritual union. I’m a Christian, but when I married my husband at age 26, I didn’t dare ask God’s opinion for fear he would discourage me. I loved my fiancée with all my heart and did what I wanted to do at the time. Well, we’re divorced now. Turns out, we were husband and wife, but not friends.  As difficult as it was, I was brave enough to choose happiness for myself and we divorced. By doing that, I gave myself the chance to be in a relationship today with a man who is my best friend and confidante; something I never knew was possible.

“What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else.”
― Stephanie KleinStraight Up and Dirty: A Memoir

The kids will suffer: They might; but not nearly as much as they will as a result of spending their childhood in a home filled with negative energy. It is very important for children to see their parents lovingly interact with each other. Not only does it teach them what to expect and seek in their own intimate relationships later, but it also fosters a sense of security. Children who grow up in homes where there is constant tension, fighting or just obvious distance between their parents, are always on edge; always mindful that at any moment, all hell could break loose and it could all be over. So you’re not doing your kids a favor by subjecting them to you and your spouse’s dysfunction. You may think you are being selfless and making an honorable sacrifice, but staying in a bad marriage for this reason is actually selfish. Children are very resilient. If you and your spouse act maturely and responsibly and separate in such a way that puts them first, they will be fine. Children are better off in a one parent peaceful environment than in a hostile one with two parents.

“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.”
― Jennifer WeinerFly Away Home

My finances will suffer: As miserable as it is to be in a broken relationship, it’s hard for me to believe that anyone would worry about finances more than getting to a point of peace. But if this is a concern, I can only offer that happiness and optimism breed productivity and success. The negative energy that is present in bad relationships can drain your energy and enthusiasm,   making it impossible to focus on going to the next level professionally. Without even realizing it, your self-esteem plummets and the confidence you need to go for a promotion or new job is non-existent. Taking a stand for yourself and your happiness is empowering and makes you feel like you can do anything. If you have that, the sky is the limit.

“The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying…”
― Elizabeth GilbertEat, Pray, Love:

I don’t want to go back to being single and lonely: Loneliness sucks, but chances are you were already lonely if your relationship was bad. Couples who don’t want to be together anymore are normally emotionally distant; so much so that you can feel alone even when you’re together. When I was married, there were many times that I felt lonely when my husband was right beside me. I would want to talk but his body language and short, disinterested responses clearly conveyed that he did not.  Also, dispel the myth that being single is synonymous with being lonely. Being single is wonderful when you love life and yourself! It’s a magical time when everything can finally revolve around YOU. You can take a trip, change jobs, go back to school or plan a weekend trip with your friends without having to “OK” it with anyone. If you’re choosing to look at it from only the perspective of not having a partner, you’re missing the beauty of it. Besides, the happier, more confident “you” is more likely to attract and keep the attention of a great guy or girl that you’re truly compatible with.

“I remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? Married to someone who is perpetually distracted and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party is going on in the next room, which but for me he could be attending?”
― Suzanne Finnamore,   Split: A Memoir of Divorce

Conclusion:  I’ll end simply with the following quote:

 “Your relationship may be “Breaking Up,” but you won’t be “Breaking Down.” If anything, you’re correcting a mistake that was hurting four people: you and the person you’re with; not to mention the two people who you were destined to meet.”
― D. Ivan YoungBreak Up, Don’t Break Down

Choosing happiness….Now that’s Presidential

Felicia is a Writer/Editor and Attorney. You can find her blogs at: Lounge Around Atlanta (loungearoundatlanta.blogspot.com) and The Other Half of the Journey (theotherhalfofthejourney.blogspot.com) As I mentioned she worked on The Art of Starting Over. She has a writing and editing service: Word Mogul (website: wordmogul.com) email: info@wordmogul.com

Your commitment to happiness

An emoticon with a smile. For more emoticons i...

As they say, Don’t worry…be happy!

How hard is it for you to be happy? Have you tried? I mean really tried. And by trying I don’t mean have you demanded that people do things your way or have you grinned and bared it? That’s not what happiness is about.

When you are flexible you will find that people are a lot more willing to do things your way. It just flows that way. Surprisingly enough without even trying very hard, just by simply being open, you will find yourself happier. If you don’t express yourself you will never attract happiness. You don’t have to be pushy or fussy; you just need to learn to communicate. If you pretend that everything is ok you will never have the pleasure of getting what you really want. In fact, you may never even learn what you really want.

Happiness takes a little work, a little research and a little flexibility. The research is finding out what and who makes you happy, the work is learning to communicate, calibrate and refrain and the flexibility is waiting for things to unfold, trusting others and choosing to listen when you want to talk.

If you try these things you will attract happiness but you have to be committed. Don’t stop because you feel yourself struggling, choose peace. Know that trouble passes and that happiness is mostly based on your perception. Don’t push happiness away being evil, judgmental, inflexible and fearful. When you are happy you will know it because your smile will be brighter, you will say yes more often and you will get your way. A peaceful feeling will come over you and the butterflies in your stomach will be from excitement not from fear.

It will be a process but once you begin to feel the harmony between the things you want and the things you have you won’t stop. You will attract more happiness and before you know it you will start helping others find their happiness. It will feel so good.

The first sign of happiensses…Now That’s Presidential!


PAMPER YOURSELF

On a cold winter day light a fire and enjoy a ...

On a cold winter day light a fire and enjoy a hot stone massage. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Successful people work. In fact, for most successful people, working hard is probably more comfortable than relaxing. They know that working harder and smarter is the best way to get to your goal. Some successful people forget to reward themselves for all their hard work. You have to do things that make you happy, keep you mentally and emotionally motivated and make you feel good.

In my book, The Art of Starting Over, I suggest that you have a working list of things you like. This list should include ways that you can enjoy yourself. For example on my list I have things like buying shoes, traveling, playing tennis, going to the movies, getting a hot stone massage and my favorite educating my nieces and nephews in a fun way.

As you think of things you like add them to your list. When it is time for you to pamper yourself you don’t have to think about it or be creative. You can go right to your list and choose an activity. Go shopping, get a massage, play tennis, spoil your children, take a trip or whatever you deserve. You know how hard you work; give yourself something to smile about.

It is your reward so do what makes you happy. Remember even small accomplishments deserve rewards. And if you are wondering when to pamper yourself, try this. If you constantly and consistently work hard daily, make time to pamper yourself once a month. Another way you could do it is to set milestones and reward yourself when you hit them. Whether it is landing a big client, finishing a lengthy project, keeping your promise to your spouse or helping your child win the science fair, do something that will put a smile on your face and keep it there until the next pamper day.

Knowing what make you happy…Now That’s Presidential!