Monthly Archives: February 2013

There is only one person you have to make happy when you are single!

Where are you going, who with and when are you coming back? When was the last time you had to answer that series of questions? Sometimes when you are in a relationship it feels like you are being controlled and have no freedom. Single life is just the opposite. The only person you have to answer to is you.

When you are single you are in control and you can go places and do things with whomever you want (responsibly of course). Some of us are desperate to jump into a relationship just because we are lonely or because we want a title. We don’t care if it’s a healthy relationship as long as we appear to be happy. It’s okay to be by yourself sometimes. It gives you a chance to be free and have fun. There is as much joy in being single as it is to being married or in a relationship.

Choose to be single by choice. Enjoy it for what it is; a time to mingle, network and flirt without worrying about how it will affect someone else. Do things that are fun and adventurous and create some interesting stories to tell your next partner. Let them know that you had a life and you plan to still have a life while you are with them. An active person is more attractive.

Remember that bucket list and that list of things you like you wrote a few weeks ago. Check some of them off. Stop thinking about what is so bad about being single and think about what so good about it. You might surprise yourself and want to extend your single days and postpone rushing into a relationship. When the world finds out that you don’t mind being single, they don’t mind being in a relationship with you; it is funny how that works.

Single…Now That’s Presidential!

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What is the formula that equals your life?

Chemical formula for Dettol

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You have heard of giving 110% right? Well today I have to break some bad news to you. There is no such thing as 110%. There is only 100% after that there is nothing left. If someone uses 100% of the toilet paper you cannot use the extra 10% because it does not exist. If you use up all the hours in the day you can’t get an extra 2 hours and forty minutes because it does not exist. The day is gone when it’s gone and you have to begin a new one.

Just the same, there is only 100% energy inside of you. You should always do your best and give 100% but that is all there is. If you search down deep and find 10% more than that means you had only originally given 90% and now you have given your all. Push yourself to the limit but know that there are only so many hours in a day.

Have you given any thought to how much time you spend doing different task in your life? What is taking up your 100%? How is your life broken down? What is the formula that equals you?

I am going to show you a simple way to figure it out. You know there are 24 hours in a day correct? Well multiply that by 7. You get 168 hours in a week. How many of those hours do you spend sleeping? I will say for this example that you sleep 6 hours a day. That is a total of 42 hours. Now you have 126 hours left and if you divide 42 by 168 you will find that you have used 25% of your week. (42/168=.25)

Now that you are well rested what are you going to do with the other 75%? In this example we are going to add together the time you spend driving to and from work in with the actual hours you spend working. Let’s say you work 10 hour days and it takes you 30 minutes to get to work and 30 minutes to get home. That is 11 hours per day which equals 77 and that is 45% of your week. (77/168=.45) Between working and sleeping you have already used 70% of your week. (45+25=70)

What can you do with the 30% that is left? You have to split that between your family, your social life, your hobbies, working out and doing your volunteer work. So let’s say you spend an hour in the morning with your family and two hours in the evening during the week and maybe 10 hours on the weekend. That is about 31 hours or 18% of your time spent with your family. If you add up the hours 31+77+42=150, 150/169=.89 or 89% of your time is now occupied for the week. You only have 11% left to do anything else you feel is important to you.

Now that you have the formula, use it on your real life schedule and discover the formula that makes up your life. Also, decide if you need to put energy and hours in different places and adjust your time. It is nothing like really knowing what your life is like, where your time goes and your energy flows. It gives you the power to make adjustments or be proud that you are doing it right.

Breaking it down…Now That’s Presidential!


I love my lifestyle

Have you been complaining and fussing about the way your life turned out? Do you feel like you wish you could change a few things? It’s easy to feel that your life is beyond your control or that your dreams are out of reach. Occasionally, bad decisions or bad luck can put you in a place where you wish you could do something different. You can! You can love your lifestyle.

The first step is admitting that your life is not all bad. There is something good amongst you and you should recognize it. Also, recognize your accomplishments. You have done positive things and you should be proud of them.

Next think of the things you like most in life and begin enjoying them again or more often. Eat more chocolate, go to more concerts, cook your favorite food, hang out with your fun friends, do little things that make you smile. You should write a list of all the things you like and commit to rewarding yourself with them as often as necessary. If you see yourself working hard and getting tasks done pick something from your list and reward yourself with it.

While you are at it create a list of your needs and who can give them to you. Be realistic and plan to give other what they need in return. Be clear as to what your needs are and begin to vocalize them so that you will attract them. Be careful not to complain. Being vocal means setting expectations and suggestions so that those around you are clear on what makes you smile.

Delegate some tasks so that you are not so over-whelmed. Everything that has to get done doesn’t have to get done by you. This may even give you a chance to teach someone else something they can use to succeed in their life. Let go and get the help you deserve. You do not have to do this all at once. Take one task at a time. Slowly work these habits into your life until you can truly say, I love my lifestyle.”

Stay active doing things that make you smile and eliminate the negative as much as possible. If you don’t like it change or adjust it. Use your power to create a happy lifestyle. Your happiness is an important part of the world, your world that is. There is nothing more special than looking forward to the influence of tomorrow.

Loving your lifestyle…Now That’s Presidential!


Marriage: Create your own rules

Carrie Bradshaw

Carrie Bradshaw (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our guest blogger for this month is Felicia Peoples the co-editor of my book The Art of Starting Over.

Have you ever really paid attention to traditional marriage vows? “Trust, honor and obey; Til death do us part; I now pronounce you MAN and wife.” Really?  We all have our opinions of how these vows should really read but who takes the time to really execute them once the ceremony is over. It’s tradition and in keeping with tradition, men and women by the thousands take these vows every year. The institution of marriage and the principles and ideas surrounding it is steeped in tradition.  Years ago, a woman’s future plans and ambitions were to become a wife and mother. Even women who went to college had a secondary, if not primary, goal of finding a husband while there. Traditionally, once married, the husband worked and the wife stayed at home to take care of him and the children; and yes, you were expected to want children.  If a woman wasn’t married by age 25, people began to look at her sideways. If a couple was married and didn’t have children, they were pitied and people wondered which one of them couldn’t make it happen.

Although society and some of its ideas about marriage and family have changed significantly, many of these traditional ideas linger on.  There is no problem with this unless you are allowing these ideas to dictate your happiness or lack thereof. What if being married and starting a family by age 25 doesn’t fit into your plans?  What if you’d rather wait until you’re 40 and have accomplished some of your personal and career goals? Is it strange if you and your husband have a long distance relationship because you work in different states? Are you abnormal if you and your partner consensually decide to have an open relationship? If you’re financially successful and in a loving marriage but don’t want children, are you selfish?

The answer to all these questions is…..there is no answer. Instead, you have to focus on making decisions that work for you (and your partner) regardless of how different they are from the ideas of traditional society, your friends or family. We are so quick to accept ideas and principles just because that’s how it has always been. But maybe these rules don’t work for your life now. Should you decide when to marry, whether to start a family, or whether to work or stay at home based on someone else’s ideas of what a happy marriage looks like? Absolutely not!  Make decisions in your life and marriage that work best for you and your partner….period. There are no right or wrong decisions; just what’s right or wrong for you.

To illustrate this, I must allude to the Bible of Life: “Sex and The City;” the movie (part two). Carrie and Big made two extremely non-traditional decisions that worked for them. First, they decided to never have children. Although a happily married couple, they decided that children just didn’t fit into their lifestyle as a dual career, social, NYC couple. They even had rings engraved to commemorate the decision: “me and you; just us two.” Second, they decided to retain Carrie’s old apartment so that once or twice a week, one or the other could go over there to have privacy and space. He wanted to lie in bed and watch TV, which irked her, and she needed the time away to clear her head so she could write. They had both been single for a long time and found that, though madly in love; they still needed a little space from time to time. Her friends thought it strange at first, which made her insecure, but in the end, they ended up using the apartment themselves when they needed a little R&R away from hubby and home.

So whether it’s separate apartments or separate bedrooms, no children or 10 children, marriage at 20 or marriage at 40, the choice has to be solely dependent on you and your partner. Even if it’s choosing swinging over monogamy, the survival of your marriage and personal happiness depends on you being brave enough to make the choice that’s best for you.

Doing You……Now that’s presidential

Felicia is a Writer/Editor and Attorney. You can find her blogs at: Lounge Around Atlanta (loungearoundatlanta.blogspot.com) and The Other Half of the Journey (theotherhalfofthejourney.blogspot.com) As I mentioned she worked on The Art of Starting Over. She has a writing and editing service: Word Mogul (website: wordmogul.com) email: info@wordmogul.com


Art Class

Art Class

Trying something new can be hard but it can also be a lot of fun. Especially when you realize you are good at it.