Would you mind buying me a drink?

“Would you mind buying me a drink,” what kind of question is that? I really do not think this is an appropriate question for a man or a woman. It sounds either like desperation or game. A male colleague of mine said he walked up to a woman at the bar and said this. He also said she bought the drink, they had great conversation and they both went their separate ways without exchanging numbers or having expectations.

I she laughing with him or at him?

The problem I have with the whole thing is male or female you do not ask someone to buy you a drink. It is tacky and shows poor taste. The polite thing to do is to wait until you have been asked and then accept. What are you doing out at the bar without enough money to buy a drink? And if you have money than why are you asking someone else to spend their money on you?

Men buy women drinks out of the kindness of their hearts. (And to get them drunk but that’s another blog for another day.) If a woman asks a man to buy her a drink she comes off greedy and desperate. The same goes for a man only multiply it by ten. If a man asks a lady to buy him a drink he comes off like a broke con artist. If I brought a man home to my parents and told them the way we met was he asked me to buy him a drink, my father would tear into him and expose all his demons or insecurities.

I really didn’t get it. He said he had money for a drink he just wondered if she would do it. Again, it sounds like game. If you did not have money you should not have gone to the bar and you really cannot afford to date. Dating takes discretionary income. If you have money, buy your own drink. Who the heck are you that you get to go around testing people? It is not fair to start a friendship off with a test. And furthermore, your grading system could be off.

100% of the time if someone wants to buy you a drink they will offer. If you have to ask they were not intending to do it. They may not mind doing it but they are now wondering about you. They are wondering why you asked them to do it. You might get lucky and catch an insecure person who doesn’t know how to say no or you might end up getting laughed at, which is what I did when I heard it.

If a man walked up to me and said, “would I mind buying him a drink?” I would first laugh. Then I would respond, “no, I do not mind buying you a drink, but I do mind that you asked.” I have no problem spending money on a stranger male or female. Once I was in a bar with my boyfriend and the girl sitting next to us said it was her birthday. I said “baby, let’s buy her a drink for her birthday.” It is not about the money or about wanting something in return it’s about the moment hitting you to do it. You should check your principles and intensions when asking someone to do this for you.

Having principles…Now That’s Presidential!


About Kiné Corder

Kine' Corder is a best selling author, speaker, and member of the Financial Therapy Association. Formerly a Morgan Stanley Financial Advisor and currently a Financial Therapist Kiné runs Presidential Lifestyle, a financial wellness company focused on wealth in all of it's forms. www.presidentiallifestyle.com View all posts by Kiné Corder

One response to “Would you mind buying me a drink?

  • Nikolas

    I totally concur with your view. But what this really points to, other than poor tact, is no knowledge of drinking culture. People don’t drink at the bar in this manner; if you look at different cultures throughout history, you won’t find an example of this situation. People have “sessions,” where groups of friends gather to talk for some time, and each person buys a round. Or people will “exchange” drinks, the usual method amongst gentlemen. But when you approach the bar expecting favors without participation, that person has the whole purpose skewed in their mind. Kudos to you for pointing this out!

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