Ladies this blog is for you and about you. It is not intended to be judgmental but it is intended to point a few fingers and hopefully awaken your courage. It is time to learn when to be depended and when to be independent. Knowing these two things will help when it comes to your mental health and the mental health of those around you.
Despite all the recent song lyrics about independent women it’s not all it is cracked up to be. Being independent can leave you alone. However, being too needed can render you lonely as well. People will stop answering the phone when they see your name pop up because they know it’s going to be some drama.
I will be the first to admit that it feels good to be rescued sometimes. In the past I would never let myself fall or fail or be weak enough to be rescued. Recently, in my uphill battle to create my perfect lifestyle I ran into a few walls, bumped my head and dropped a few balls. When this happened I had to call on friends (male and female) to help me get out of my jams.
To my surprise the people who I thought should have my back didn’t. I thought that I had given them so much that truly they would be there for me to reciprocate. Not exactly! Some were still not in any better position than they were the last time I help them out so they could not help me. Others were judgmental and unwilling to help and a few others couldn’t figure out how to help. A small few where there when I needed them and gave more than I expected. In a short amount of time I had a few too many mishaps and I was starting to get on my own nerves and kind of got embarrassed by the mistakes and situations that were happening.
Some men where ready to listen and run to help every time I called while others were over me. I have noticed that men like being Superman. They enjoy a rescue mission every once in a while especial if they like (or want to have sex with) the Damsel. Helping the helpless woman makes them feel needed, feel stronger and it gives their life more purpose. While the mission is fun at first if they find themselves getting called into duty to much they begin to loss respect for the woman they once were interested in.
Now draw the focus back to yourselves ladies. How do you feel when you keep making the same mistakes over again? How does it feel when you realized your decision-making skills are out of tune? How many times are you going to call somebody’s son over to get you out of your mess instead of finding a way out on your own? When are you going to stop…. dropping the ball, falling, failing, bumping your head and running into walls?
There is really no excuse. Let’s all agree to be proactive, thoughtful, strong and ready for whatever life brings our way. We don’t have to feel like we are an island or that we are too proud to ask for help. We just need to practice being Wonder Woman when our men are tired instead of being Polly Purebred all the time. (Underdog’s girlfriend). And remember ladies not all super heroes use their powers for good. When you are always in need you are putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. At the same time don’t you go taking advantage of Mr. Mighty Mouse just because his weakness is sweetness.
It’s ok to ask for help sometimes but when you are always singing the blues, crying broke and claiming to be a damsel in distress you stress the world out. Stop complaining and start changing your situation. You have the strength, brain power and support to do it all. Show people you believe in yourself, you care about yourself, you can carry yourself and they will be more willing to help you through any difficulty.
It all starts with one decision and commitment. In my book “The Art of Starting Over” I talk about self-evaluation and Good decision-making. These two things will help you change a big part of your life that will help you get to your perfect lifestyle. And remember no GOOD MAN really wants an INDEPENDENT WOMAN. He wants a woman that he can protect and take care of. He just wants her to be strong and capable.