Monthly Archives: May 2011

Damsel in distress-ed OUT!

Oh My! What will I do....


Ladies this blog is for you and about you. It is not intended to be judgmental but it is intended to point a few fingers and hopefully awaken your courage. It is time to learn when to be depended and when to be independent. Knowing these two things will help when it comes to your mental health and the mental health of those around you.

Despite all the recent song lyrics about independent women it’s not all it is cracked up to be. Being independent can leave you alone. However, being too needed can render you lonely as well. People will stop answering the phone when they see your name pop up because they know it’s going to be some drama. 

I will be the first to admit that it feels good to be rescued sometimes. In the past I would never let myself fall or fail or be weak enough to be rescued. Recently, in my uphill battle to create my perfect lifestyle I ran into a few walls, bumped my head and dropped a few balls. When this happened I had to call on friends (male and female) to help me get out of my jams.

To my surprise the people who I thought should have my back didn’t. I thought that I had given them so much that truly they would be there for me to reciprocate. Not exactly! Some were still not in any better position than they were the last time I help them out so they could not help me. Others were judgmental and unwilling to help and a few others couldn’t figure out how to help. A small few where there when I needed them and gave more than I expected. In a short amount of time I had a few too many mishaps and I was starting to get on my own nerves and kind of got embarrassed by the mistakes and situations that were happening.

Some men where ready to listen and run to help every time I called while others were over me. I have noticed that men like being Superman. They enjoy a rescue mission every once in a while especial if they like (or want to have sex with) the Damsel. Helping the helpless woman makes them feel needed, feel stronger and it gives their life more purpose. While the mission is fun at first if they find themselves getting called into duty to much they begin to loss respect for the woman they once were interested in.

Now draw the focus back to yourselves ladies. How do you feel when you keep making the same mistakes over again? How does it feel when you realized your decision-making skills are out of tune? How many times are you going to call somebody’s son over to get you out of your mess instead of finding a way out on your own? When are you going to stop…. dropping the ball, falling, failing, bumping your head and running into walls? 

There is really no excuse. Let’s all agree to be proactive, thoughtful, strong and ready for whatever life brings our way. We don’t have to feel like we are an island or that we are too proud to ask for help. We just need to practice being Wonder Woman when our men are tired instead of being Polly Purebred all the time. (Underdog’s girlfriend). And remember ladies not all super heroes use their powers for good. When you are always in need you are putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. At the same time don’t you go taking advantage of Mr. Mighty Mouse just because his weakness is sweetness.

It’s ok to ask for help sometimes but when you are always singing the blues, crying broke and claiming to be a damsel in distress you stress the world out. Stop complaining and start changing your situation. You have the strength, brain power and support to do it all. Show people you believe in yourself, you care about yourself, you can carry yourself and they will be more willing to help you through any difficulty.

It all starts with one decision and commitment. In my book “The Art of Starting Over” I talk about self-evaluation and Good decision-making. These two things will help you change a big part of your life that will help you get to your perfect lifestyle. And remember no GOOD MAN really wants an INDEPENDENT WOMAN. He wants a woman that he can protect and take care of. He just wants her to be strong and capable.

Don’t stress…progress!

Warrior Woman can save herself from herself….and learn to be peaceful.
P.S. If you need help email me by completing the form below. We can figure it out together.


4 tips to a successful bucket list

See the world....from the top!

1. Day dream – Your bucket list may have some basic, standard things on there like starting a garden or taking time to watch the sunrise and the sunset in the same day, but it should also have some far out items to check off too. Maybe you really do like the simple things in life. I get it, so do I, but on your bucket list I want you to go wild. Don’t stop yourself or wonder how you will get it done. Just day dream, fantasize, create and imagine. Let your mind wander into places it has been too scared to go in the past.

When you run across ideas, write them down or save them in your email. Tell someone you want to do it and see if they will go with you. You saw the movie right? Fulfilling the bucket list was a lot more fun when the two friends were together.

Give yourself the freedom to be as open and imaginative as you like. Don’t just think about it, dream about it. Get ideas from movies, friends, TV, magazines and websites. Try http://www.cloud9living .com. There you will find exciting things to do that may spark some ideas.

2. Share with dreamers – Earlier I told you to share your bucket list with someone but I forgot to say make it someone who can dream big. Don’t tell anyone who can’t dream big because they will talk you out of it. Go all the way. Don’t let money be an object. Just let your mind run free and think of the things that would make you scream to the top of your lungs with joy.

Pretend you are a little kid again. Remember when you thought you could be an astronaut? Did you forget how you thought you would one day drive a Kit Car (Night Rider)? There were so many ideas running through our brains like ruling the Star Ship Enterprise, driving a  Malibu Barbie Cars, having a super power and don’t forget all those tree climbing adventures. Go ahead and go there. It’s okay we won’t judge you if your idea is crazier than ours, although we might join you. Hope you don’t mind.

3. Make a list with dates – You should write down your ideas in a list but don’t stop there. Write them down on the calendar or at least assign a deadline. For example, if you said you want to fly in a private jet but you know that won’t happen this year. Give a time frame next to it like fly in a private jet by 2020. Don’t sit around trying to figure out how each thing will happen just write them down and give yourself a deadline. That’s your only job. Don’t start planning or strategizing just write down as many fun, wild, crazy, exhilarating, fulfilling things you can think of.

If you happen to find yourself in a position to scratch something off of your list, do it. You don’t have to wait for the deadline to come. The date is only there so that you won’t procrastinate or give up on your adventure. When you find yourself bored take out your bucket list and start filling it up with more ideas. Then if you are still bored, check your bucket list for something you can do right now.

4. Tell the stories – When you do something on your bucket list I want you to tell everyone about it. Talk about it at work, with your friends and with strangers. This will help you re-live the experience and it will prompt others to start living out their bucket list. You could be a part of making the world a happier place. When you tell your story you will feel good and even if the other people don’t understand your adventure they will begin their own adventures.

Follow these four steps and you will create an exciting bucket list that will turn into your exciting life.

Remember the Perfect Lifestyle is about making the things you want to do the things you have done. Now that’s Presidential!

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Advice is worth money…find out just how much

Wealthy and Wise

Mistakes in and of themselves can be costly. Financial mistakes can cost you even more. That is why Notorious B.I.G said more money more problems. What he was really saying was more money more expensive problems. When you make mistakes it usually cost you something. 

Mistakes can cost you friends, time, your freedom and quite often money. Financial mistakes cost you money today and they cost you future money because you lose the “time value” of your money. A dollar today will never be worth more than it is right now at this moment. Inflation alone is doing damage to your poor little dollars but the global economy is having an even bigger effect because it is ever changing and the dollar can barely keep up. Not to mention if you invested your dollar the interest you gain would make it worth more tomorrow.

My job as your Lifestyle Consultant is to help you save money now and in the future on purchases as well as mistakes. Add to that assist you in saving, investing and earning more money. I will share with you my financial mistake and triumphs. Likewise, share yours with us by leaving your comments. If a client of mine makes a financial mistake or triumph I think you can learn from I will share it too. Of course, privacy is important so there will be some things left out to protect the client but the story will serve its purpose and teach you a lesson.

Before making decisions that will affect you financially make sure you have done your homework and get advice from an expert. (Please pay them for their advice.) There is someone who knows what you need to know and they will share it with you. So let them give you the knowledge you need to make an informed decision.

If you have enough knowledge you can save yourself money, stress and time. When you make decisions emotionally you can easily make mistakes. When emotions are high, logic is low so wait for your brain to balance before you make a decision. A financial decision should never be made emotionally. Truth be told 80-90% of all decisions are financial. If you do not believe me count all the decision you make on a daily, weekly, monthly bases and if they have a $ sign attached to them they become financial decisions.

Take these emotional decisions: Which engagement ring to buy, what to get your children for Christmas, which car to drive, how much money to put into the church offering, which restaurant to take your date to, where to go on your vacation. I can go on and on but you get it. All of those decisions deserve some logic but they are usually almost 100% emotional.

So if you really want to be smart, get advice and determine which information directly pertains to your situation. There is a lot of information out there. Let someone with experience help you sift through it all. The more wealth you want to have the more knowledge and knowledgeable people you need to have. 

Subscribing to this blog is one step to informing yourself. Share this blog with your friends by posting the link on your Facebook wall. Also, if you ever need advice, financial or otherwise email me and I will direct you to the right person if I can’t help you personally.

Getting advice…Now That’s Presidential!

Great accomplishements deserve great rewards

If you have been following the Self Business Plan for a few weeks now you may have already accomplished a goal or two. It may be a small goal but will get you closer to your ultimate goal, so that’s great. All accomplishments count. If you have made accomplishments, cheers! Here’s to you and your ambition. How will you celebrate and reward yourself? It’s time to start making a record of your accomplishments and rewarding yourself. The last two pages of the Self Business Plan will walk you through how to do this.

Pay attention to your steps and when you reach an end write it down, record the date and list a reward. This step is important because it helps you see how close you are getting to your goals and that should help keep you motivated. Rewarding yourself gives you the feeling that your hard work is not in vein.

When the goal is insight you can get excited. The excitement will keep you going and help you enjoy the journey. You do not want to resent your climb. You want to love it. Remember we will count it all joy. Smile on the hard days and on the easy days. Don’t let them get you down.

The last step is to determine the outcome of each section. You may not be ready for this step right now but as you come to the end of all your task and you have accomplished your goals you should record the outcome. When you followed the plan and began changing your life what was the result compared to what you predicted it would be? In the beginning you wrote down what you wanted the End State to be. Maybe you said you want to fit back into those jeans or you are doing it to excite  your classmates at the reunion. Did you do that or did something different happen? Did you lose the 30lbs…and what did it do for you? Did you forgive that person….and are you building new stronger relationships? Did you finish that class…and how did it make you feel? Did you get that new position with the higher salary… and what did it afford you? Do you now have more time, more money, a better day, less stress?

What was the result of you accomplishing your goal?  Did you pray for a specific outcome and did you get it? Did you get something different? Where you satisfied with that? If not, set new goals. If it made you happy reward yourself even more.

You now have a road map that can help you discover your goals, stick to them and watch them unfold. The great news about working through this Self Business Plan is that you can do this over and over again until you have found what truly makes you happy. And once you find it you can do this over and over again to stay happy.

By the way, guess what? You just finished reading the last installment of the Self Business Plan. Continue to follow through on the ebook and make yourself proud. If you would like to talk about your accomplishments feel free to email me at or post your comments here.

If you have a friend who wants to reach more of their goals tell them to subcribe to I look forward to hearing from you.

Starting next week you will go back to talking about Health, Wealth and Lifestyle. And as we go I will insert steps to the 12 step program “Create Your Perfect Lifestyle”. I am proud of you. Thanks for reading.

Rewarding yourself….Now That’s Presidential!

Count it all joy

Self Business Plan

The link above is a copy of the Self  Business Plan because it is important that you follow alone for this exercise. If you are not use to making task list it can get a little confusing. If it seems like you are making list for the list than you are doing it correctly. Take your time and follow throuhg.

In life you have to take the good with the bad. There will be things that you totally enjoying doing that make your pursuit of happiness easier. However there will also be task that will seem pointless or that may tire you out. I am asking you to count it all joy because when you combine them together they make up the journey to your dreams.

At this point you should have made your list, maybe you checked it twice and if you are really nice you may have already gotten some things done. If not, don’t worry this next step will have you in action mode in no time.

Your life is full and it is easy to get side tracked with a bunch of tasks that do not have anything to do with your greater goals. Some of those things are necessary like shampooing your hair, taking out the trash and cutting the lawn. While others are less than productive like reading up on your favorite actors recent activity, comparing ABC’s primetime line-up to NBC’s line-up or staring aimlessly off into space as you think of all the things you could be doing.

Do not let the day, week or month get away from you. If you do, before you know it the year will be over and you will be so upset with yourself. At that point the only action you can take is to start again. Your last tasks list, listed the things you wanted to accomplish each month but the way to make sure you get that done every month is to have weekly and daily activity.

First make a schedule and be sure to determine your off days and your work days. State how many hours you will work each day. Then make a list of things that should happen every day or week in order to meet your goals. You should have an appointment calendar. Whether it’s inside your smart phone, on your computer or if it’s analog it doesn’t matter. Use the Self Business Plan to make a list of things you need to stay consistent with in order to meet your goals.

My weekly activity only allow for me to have one day off. At times I end up with 3 days off in a row but I usually will fill the space because I am so ready to get to my goals that it’s hard to take off. I would much rather work then push back getting to my goals.

On my daily activity table I list things like write blog, check email, workout, study French, mail press kit, review activity and make follow-up phone calls and check bucket list. These are things that I have to constantly do over and over again every week. By staying committed to these tasks daily I ensure my success. It is not easy to stay consistent but when you do the result is an accomplished goal. Ask any successful person.

Use the weekly activity section to create a schedule. Push yourself but also create relaxation time. The daily activity table should be things that you must repeat in order to be successful. You don’t have to do each activity everyday but write it down on the days you will commit to doing it. For example you may commit to working out Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. If the list changes print out another copy and change it. No big deal.

In fact if it doesn’t change that probable means you are not moving forward. When your tasks change that means you will be closer to your goals and have a set of new tasks activities.

Now the last thing you need to do to connect the dots between wanting and having is to make a list everyday of the things you want to get done that specific day. List everything from call my mom to pick-up milk to finish my presentation to delegate these things to my assistant. That list should change daily. And if you do not finish everything on the list make sure you transfer it to the next daily to do list. You may have the best intensions but the worst follow through. It’s time to change that. Hopefully this daily to do list will help you visualize what needs to be done. When you see your task written down in front of you it is easier to get them done. Please do not try to remember them. That doesn’t work and it is a waste of brain power. Writing it down elevates room for human era. Remember we are human that is why we go through all the trouble of having a Self Business Plan to make us look like super heroes.

 I left space for 30 things to do if you have more than that you need an assistant. If you have an assistant you need to use your assistant more or you need a new assistant. Also, let the Self Business Plan assist you. Keep moving forward. Keep getting things done and before you know it you will be more successful.

 We have one more step in the Self Business Plan to go. The last step will help you feel the fruit of your labor. I’m excited about you having all the components of the Self Business Plan so that you can put them all together and watch your dreams unfold.

 If you have feedback email me at and feel free to share the ebook Self Business Plan and this blog with your friends. I welcome new subscribers.

What you do is what you become….

This time last year....

Have you ever planned a party, a wedding, a move or anything that required a list of tasks that would ultimately lead up to the real activity. Planning a life is not much different than planning a party.

You have to make a list of what needs to be done, figure out who handles it best, delegate the tasks, then adjust the plan as new things come into play.

For today’s activity we are focusing on the part of the execution that requires you to make a to do list.

The next step in the Self Business Plan is to make a list of tasks or a to do list. Although I am sure you can handle this on your own I will still give you an example. My Vision is about building my network and subscribers. It also talks about my book, lifestyle consulting and speaking career. In order to meet these objectives I have to take steps that are going to get me there.

If my goal is to write then I have to find a way to do that. This blog is the beginning of my writing career. If I want to build subscribers I have to request it and also have content for them to read. To build my reputation I have to practice what I preach and be an example. Since what you do is what you become I have to make sure I am doing something everyday that will lead to my success.

You should have a list of task that you want to accomplish each month. The monthly to do list helps you measure whether or not you are on target and it can also hold you accountable. Use the 30 day time-frame to give yourself a realistic amount of time to get things done.

Give some thought to what you need to do in order to reach your goals. Find paper and a pen and begin your list of tasks that will get you there. What will it take to keep you on the right track and help you reach your goals? Successful people are successful because they DID the work.

When you are writing your list of tasks make sure they directly relate to the things you want to accomplish. The Olympic gold medalist may list things like buy new track shoes, schedule meeting with coach, research competitions.

Don’t be afraid to make a long list but don’t feel obligated to make one. Make a list that is directly related to what you need to do to get the things you want in your life. Be clear that all things on the list somehow relate to the goal. If your goal is to save a certain amount of money then your tasks may include clipping coupons, researching bank interest rates, making a list of free stuff, etc.

After you make this list I want you to prioritize it by picking which things you will focus on this month. In the Self Business Plan ebook there is a place for you to write down your to do’s for each month. I am a super planner so I like to assign task for each month. As I accomplish my tasks I check them off in the box next to the task. It seems silly but it will feel good to visually check things off. It helps you realize how close you are to the bigger goals.

Remember it is my believe that life is about making the things you want to do the things you have done. With that in mind get to work, make your list and begin checking things off. If you want to make your life as memorable as your last party finish the task list.

If you need help please email me at If you have a friend that you think would like this blog pass it on. Feel free to post this on your Facebook or RT it on Twitter. Also, if you have not already, subscribe to this blog today.

Checking off your list…Now That’s Presidential!

Goals for your soul

Everyone has goals. Goals that we believe if we reach we will be happy. What I have discovered is the happiest people have reached their goals in four different areas at the same time. Pay attention to the fact that I did not say the most successful people.  By societies standards successful usually is judged by the number of zeros in your bank account. That does not measure happiness. In fact, some of the most unhappy people are wealthy. I believe that happiness is when the things you want are the things you have and the things you want to do become the things you have done. Not by anybody else’s standards but by your own.

Did you set goals this year? Were they the same goals you have had for a while or were they new goals? The next step in the Self Business Plan is to set your goals. Go ahead try to recall your goals right now so that you can do this next exercise. If you have been sticking to your goals it should not be hard. However, if you have already given up on them it may take some work to pull them back up.

While you are trying to recall your goals get a piece of paper out and draw a line down the middle and across the middle like you will see illustrated below. Then write MENTAL, PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL in each one of the sections. The numbers represent how many goals you have in each area. You may only have one goal in each area or you may have more goals in one area than you do in another.

When you are writing your goals think about what you want to accomplish this year or what you want to add to your life. Each goal has a specific End State or result that it will add to your life. As you accomplish these goals in each area of your life you will find that you are completely happy.  Here is a breakdown of what each goal should represent.

Spiritual goals are the goals that will help you free your soul. Write down how you plan to build your connection with whatever higher being you believe in.

Mental goals are education, mental well being and other thinking goals like taking a class, learning something new, pursuing a hobby or ways to change your thinking process.

Emotional goals will list the things that will elevate your reactions to problems and situations. Find things that will help you get your feelings out, learn to react differently, change your feels or reduce your stress and worry.

Physical goals are the more tangible ones. These goals include income, career, lifestyle, health and parenting. Set goals that will help you account for your day to day time and energy.

Each goal should have an End State. For example if your physical goal was to work out 3 days a week, then your End State will be to lose 20lbs.

Make sure your goals are realistic, actionable and measurable. You should be able to reach these goals on your own, know what it takes to put them in action and be able to measure whether or not you reached them. If necessary add a due date so that you do not procrastinate.

As I always do I will give you an example using my own life and hopefully this will help you through this exercise. Feel free to hold me accountable for my goals and I welcome any assistance you may be able to offer. Thank you in advance for thinking of me and sending me positive energy. If you would like me to hold you accountable send me an email and I will do what I can to help you reach your goals. My network is your network.

Your goals are the things you want to add to your life. While resolutions are the things you want to subtract from your life. I want you to re-resolute often. Old habits die hard so do this throughout the year until we have built new more productive habits.

Here are my resolutions from January:

  1. I will not lend money for 12 months. I can give time and energy instead of money. If I give money it is a gift not a loan and I can have not have expectations for the money. Nor can I have any control over the result.
  2. Maintain a diet that is 80% healthy and 20% unhealthy. Stay away from foods I am allergic to.
  3. Do not obsess over anything or anybody. Take it easy. 

  1. Learn French
  2. Take one day off per week to have fun and relax
  3. Read and write 4 times a week.

 End State: Feel more educated, speak in more countries, connect with myself and my family and friends.


  1. Write blog 3 times a week
  2. One paid speaking job per month
  3. Acquire publisher, literary agent and speaking agent.
  4. Work out 3 days per week

 End State: Stay in shape, advance my career, share my message with the world, increase my income.



  1. Be open to love and love someone the same way back.
  2. Take my time and be patient with family and friends.
  3. Ask for help when I need it.

 End State: Experience true love, lower my stress, build my confidence in others.



  1. Speak in churches
  2. Find the lesson in everyday situations and spread the message.


End State: Share and receive spiritual guidance, restore faith that there is good in the world, spread love throughout the world.