Monthly Archives: June 2011

The war is over #perception

I have a friend who told me that rich people look down on him because they don’t know he is rich too. When he is in a room full of people whose income level is the same as his he can see them and feel them thinking that he is in the wrong place. He says when they find out he is a colleague they wonder how did he get there.

Court side seats

That was hard for me to believe and when I went out with him I didn’t see what he saw. People thinking I have as much money as they do is not important to me so maybe that is why I couldn’t see or feel what he was going through. What I did observe was, people who were different from him wanting to know more about him. I did notice that his guards were up and people could sense that so they didn’t get too close to him. I tried explaining this to him but he disagreed. He was sure his feelings were correct.

I shared this story with him. Before I was on Extreme Makeover the size and shape of my lips bothered me. From the time I was 10 years old until I was 29 years old I knew that when I heard people laugh they were laughing at my lips. It did not matter if it was kids, teenagers or adults laughing, my thoughts were the same. If I walked into a room and laughter started I was 100% sure they were laughing at me.

One day just a few months after my lips surgery I was in LA riding in my car with the windows down. A car pulled up on the side of me and the people inside began to laugh. I immediately thought, huh, I wonder what’s so funny. I wished I would have heard the joke. I drove away and didn’t think much more about it until it hit me.

Wait a minute I didn’t think they were laughing at my lips this time. Is that because they were gone? Oh my goodness you mean to tell me that all these years people may not have been laughing at me? You mean to tell me that people just pull up in cars and laugh about random stuff. They stand around at events and laugh at random stuff? Are you saying at parks, when kids are playing, they have other things to laugh about besides my lips?

That is when I realized that all this time before I had my lip surgery I was thinking that people were laughing at me and many times they weren’t. However, because I perceived it that way the first and only thing I would always think was that they were laughing at me. Once I had my lip surgery the thought never entered my mind that they were laughing at me. It was all my perception.

My friend could be experiencing the same thing I experienced. Rich people are not laughing at him or judging him he is just perceiving it that way. Maybe it’s something else and he has created this in his mind because of some past experiences.

You have to let go of the idea that everything is about you because it’s not. If you shift the focus a little bit you can enjoy the moment more and put your guard down. Sure sometimes people are laughing at you or judging you but that may be 1% of the time. The other 99% you are creating drama for yourself. Relax, now that you know the war is over.

Laughing out loud…Now That’s Presidential!


Let’s do brunch…where should we go? #brunch

My favorite family time when I was a kid was Sunday brunch. My mom and her friends would take me, my sister and brother to a different place most of the time. We had a few favorites that we would frequent but the best part was discovering new places. Man, I love my mommy for teaching me how to be Presidential since I was a little girl.

Here are my favorite Sunday Brunch spot in Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles.

Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.

ChicagoThe Clubhouse in Oakbrook, The Drake Hotel downtown or Wishbone on Washington

AtlantaPark’s Edge in Inman Park or West Egg Cafe on Howell Mill Rd

Los AngelesJar on Beverly Blvd

Leave a comment and tell me your favorite place for brunch any where in the world. Include the city. If you have a favorite place in more than one city list all.

Sunday brunch….Now That’s Presidential!   

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Two reasons men with money have more sex

A man can have all the sex he can afford.

There are two major reasons why men with money have more sex. If that isn’t enough I’ll give you three more reasons why you should want to be a man with money. No man wants to be broke. Many men have the potential to be great, they just need better resources to get everything they desire.

 If you got nothing you better get up, get out and get something because ambition is attractive. Reason #1 men with money have more sex. Women feel sexier and more confident around a man with money. Like it or not women are going to be more attracted to a man with man. Listen and I will tell you why. 

First, it says you are smart and hardworking. You are a good steward of your money, you know how to get what you want when you want it and all of that is part of your attraction. Think of it like this if there is a beautiful woman who can cook, give great oral sex and clean up. That woman may not want a man to want her for her sex skills but that is part of her and she needs to understand that men want that, as well as the rest of her. She will get his attention with her good looks, great sex and the cooking makes it even better.

Now men to a women this can make us feel cheap and slutty. The same goes for you and your money. When you spend money on a women it can make you feel used and unappreciated. I get it and I am not going to tell you that there are not women out there whose soul mission in life is to use men. Just the same, there are men out there whose soul mission is to get sex from women. Don’t just think with your sex stick.

Next, any good man should want to take care of his woman and see her smile. If you can find a way to make a good woman happy she will do everything to make you happy. The big problem is men are looking at the women with the big butt and forgetting to check her pedigree. If she is a mutt, I guarantee she will eat your steak, give you flees and eat your best friends steak too. Leave that girl alone. You should be checking to see if she is also ambitious, does she have a good heart, will she cook for her man, is she patient and is she willing to eat steak when you got it and hamburgers when money is tight.

All these things add up to a woman who is going to want a man who can protect and take care of her. If she is thoughtful enough to make sure you are in a position to build your business then she deserves a Fendi and a pair of stilettos. EVERY woman wants to be cared for and spoiled. Despite all the independent women songs out, there is not a woman in the world who really wants to carry the weight of her world on her shoulders. Our shoulders are not built to carry that kind of weight. However, a big strong man on the other hand can carry the weight while the woman who admires him can keep him strong. By the way, Reason #2 men with money have more sex: whether slut or saint every woman wants the fairy tell. A man with money can afford to take her out on great dates that earn sex. 

Finally, if you want to get to your next level in life you are going to need a good woman. Behind every good man is a great woman, remember? Just ask Barack Obama or Martin Luther King, Jr. When you don’t have to think about your meals, your bills, your children and your lifestyle you can focus more time on your goals.

Having money is a part of who you are. Being manly and taking care of your woman is the right thing to do and when you do it she will reward you greatly. If you spend it from your heart you won’t regret it. In the future instead of saying “you don’t want a woman that wants you for your money”, say  “you don’t want a woman who ONLY wants you for your money.” Keep going toward your income goals you don’t want to be alone at the top? Dating is not cheap. You will have to make that investment in order to find a good companion.

It makes a women feel sexy, confident and safe to have a good man with money.

Knowing every woman wants you….Now That’s Presidential!

Reality Casting Call – All types welcome to audition

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Have you ever felt like your life should be the next reality show? Do you feel like your drama is better than any of the Housewives shows they have out there? Does the Spike channel need to consult you before they make their next move?

Whether you are married or single at some point you will have to come to grips with the role you play in the life of your significant other. Marriage is just a piece of paper. It does not legally make the person treat you any better. Being single does not mean you will forever be an extra. You can get a lead role you just have to be willing to work on a movie that may not be a block buster. Life can sometimes feel like one long audition for a movie with no ending. You audition and audition and you keep forgetting what role you were auditioning for.

Let’s breakdown the roles:

Lead – The story is about you. You are in most of the scenes and the rest of the cast waits for your direction especially your co-star. Your name shows up high in the credits. Your pay-off is high and you may even be qualified for residual income.

Supporting – You are important put not a priority. You are in some scenes but you are clearly not the star. At times you find yourself feeling like the star because you are putting your all into the role but then you see the credits and you realize you were not as important as you thought you were. When the movie is reviewed you can often go unnoticed. Your understudy can take your place at anytime. The show goes on with or without you.

Extra – You are rarely remembered and easily replaced. Your job is to fill the space. You usually have no lines and the few you do have could either end up on the cutting room floor or get you your next job. It is so up in the air. It is clear that this role is not going anywhere for you. You are just happy to be in the movie. For now that is good enough.

Where do you fall in this? Do you know what role you are taking? Is that where you want to be? You can have a really big, important lead role but that comes with a lot of pressure and responsibility. It also could come with a lot of expectations that could set you up for disappointment.

Supporting roles are sometimes easier but they leave a lot to be desired if a lead role is really what you want. A supporting role can be unfulfilling to one person and perfect for another. The extra role is only meant for someone who is just passing the time, having fun and really doesn’t know what they want. Being an extra is no real glory but for some that is ok. They only want a quick thrill with do dedication, responsibilities or promises.

When you compare these choices neither is bad as long as they are what you really want. They are only bad when you are settling for something that you truly want. Do not stop auditioning for lead roles if that is what you really want. If you decide to take a supporting or extra role while you wait do not fool yourself into thinking that the current extra role is something that it isn’t. If you cannot handle anything but an extra role, than stay in your lane. Don’t get confused or confuse others. You know what you are qualified for.

Knowing where you stand…Now That’s Presidential! This is one of my fav This is one of my favorite restaurants in Atlanta. Cute, great food and the owner is super nice. Great Deal! RT

Five reasons marriage sucks…and proof some married people want to be single

Forever ever, ever, ever....

What is your Facebook status: Single, married, divorced, it’s complicated? A lot of people ask what my Facebook status is because I don’t have it posted. Well I am single, have never been married and I do not have children. All of this is by design. My goals as a little girl where to travel, have a career and earn enough money to do whatever I wanted. Having children and getting married where not on my list of things to do. I thought you had to choose between your hopes and dreams and having a family. Now I know that you can design your own lifestyle and create the situation you want.

Some people choose to make their children their life and that is okay if that is truly what they want. It is also ok to not want that at all. I have friends that are married, single, divorced, widowed or in situations that are so complicated it is hard to give it a name. I personally have enjoyed being single. However, I was also in a serious relationship where I got to be a step-mom. I was also a single mom for 2 years when I had a foster daughter.

There is beauty in all the titles and situations that come with life. There is a psychological and physiological need to want companionship. However, it is society who has set out to make you feel guilty or less than if you don’t get married and have children.

I’ve been called a recluse, aloof, strange, selfish and a few other things just because I prefer to be single with no children. What they say doesn’t bother me because most of the people who say it are miserable in whatever lifestyle they have chosen. The only name they should call me is happy. I knew what I wanted when I was a little girl and I got it.

I have basically set out to prove that the reason the divorce rate is so high is because most people male or female want to be single. No they do not want to be alone. I am not saying that, especially when it comes to raising children. Most people want some kind of partnership but most people are not willing to do what it takes to be happy in that kind of situation. Their behavior says that they want to be single and when they continue to behave that way it leads to divorce. When you want to control someone or you really think you all are going to become one you are saying, in your thoughts and actions, that you want to be single. Get it? Single is one. So when you want to become one you are trying to become single again. If you say you want someone to take care of you than you don’t want to be married you want to be raised. There are going to be things that are your responsibility. It may not be your job to bring in the money but it may be your job to build up and support the one who does.

Being married is harder than being single and most people do not realize that. The vows say, and it is true, that marriage is a covenant that should not be entered into lightly. I have considered it and I do not think I can handle it. I want to be in a happy, healthy relationship but I want to be able to make adjustments as we see fit as the years pass. In marriage there is no control, no freedom, no solo decisions, you have to consider how the other person will feel about everything you do, even the small stuff and you are not allowed to change. These are the 5 reasons marriage sucks.

What does “til death do us part” mean to you? It is not a romantic Shakespearean quote. It is the vows you will commit to when you get or got married. Forever is a mighty long time. If you are single or divorced consider the incredible life you can have dating and exploring people. If you are married remember what we discussed her today. Enjoy the fact that you do not have to make every decision or pay every bill or wipe every nose. You have someone to share all the work with.

I still believe that being single is an exciting adventure that you can turn into the perfect lifestyle with a little coaching and direction. I will consult the first single person and the first divorced person who emails me free for 90 days. Email me at  Let’s talk about how you can be happy single. I have done it so I can show you.

Exploring your options….Now That’s Presidential!

Reflecting on Father’s Day

Today was a day for me to reflect since I was away from my father. Funny how fast we grow up. I remember when I thought he knew everthing. Then I thought I knew everything. Now I realize we both know so much but still have so much to learn. The great thing is we are willing to learn together.

Be brave, father’s we need you.