Speed Boat (Photo credit: Ben Bunch)
Have you ever been driving and thought you may be lost. Or even worse have you ever decided you no longer want to go to that destination. What do you do? Do you stop, do you go anyway even though you no longer want to go, do you ask for directions if you are lost, do you choose a different destination or do you just continue to drive with no direction or purpose because you are scared to change course.
Making a decision to change your course is okay. Sometimes life changes and the best decision you can make is to change with it. It is okay to make changes and it is okay if you get a little off course. Everyone gets lost from time to time. As long as you get back on course you will get to where you are going. Be sure to get back on track quickly and do not beat yourself up about the mistake. Be decisive about this new course and full steam head.
Do not worry about who is going to see you make the change or who is going to object unless they play a significant role in your major plan. If they do play a role than make sure they have the updated map. When a spouse or partner is involved, make sure you converse and discuss things as they adjust. Having a partner by your side can be a blessing. However, if this is the end of your journey together and you have to part ways, be able to say goodbye and move on with dignity. But if you need them by your side and it really means that much to you, pull over and wait for your partner. When you know this person has your back it can be worth the wait. Not everyone travels at the same pace so watch and stay close.
Pursing your goal doesn’t mean running down everyone in your way, leaving everyone behind, never making adjustments or never putting your movement on pause. It means always keeping your eye on the objective, knowing where you are, where you are going and where you will end up even if that changes.
Directing and redirecting…Now That’s Presidential!
Scientifically if you are talking you cannot hear clearly. You may catch some of the words but you will not get the full meaning or message the person was trying to relay to you.
Listening is a compliment. It makes the other person believe that you truly care. It is also a way for you to be more aware of what is happening around you. Getting your point across, your joke out or your story told are all good things and they have their place, but there is also a place for being quiet and listening to someone else.
Listening is special. You can gain knowledge, friends, rewards and sometimes when you listen you get closer to your goals. When you listen you follow direction better and you can have more genuine conversations.
Listening is a sign of respect. When you speak you want the undivided attention of the person you are talking to so give the same respect back. You will have better communication, better relationships and better understanding. Listen, you might be surprised by what you hear.
Listening…Now That’s Presidential!
Why do you hide your feelings? Women and men alike complain that nobody understands them or how they feel. These same people have walls up and are holding in their feelings, saying everything is fine. When you have a tough exterior and you try to hold back your emotions there is no way for anyone to really know how you feel. No way for them to get in unless you open the door or lower the wall.
People can try and guess but it is unlikely that they will get it right. This will make you feel like they don’t care, but the truth is they do. That is why they are trying to figure you out but if you keep the wall up they will never really get to know you. Only you know how you really feel and the only way anyone else is going to know is if you tell them.
The first thing you have to know is that it is okay to feel. Second, it is okay to feel “the way” you feel and third, it is okay to share your feelings with others. Now you will become more human and less robotic. You open yourself up for people to have more compassion and empathy for you when you need it. Not pity…just compassion. Compassion will not make you feel weak; it will make you feel whole and loved. When you share your feelings you will find that people may be able to relate, give you some insight, or simply just listen.
When you express yourself you release some of the tension and you can begin feeling better. If you hold your feelings inside you will feel tense and believe that nobody cares. They care, they just don’t know how to help or if you even want them help because you have your wall built up. Let the wall down for the right people and enjoy what it feels like to love and be loved the same way back. Feeling can be scary but it is not so bad. It is a great way to connect with the people you love, who love you.
Vulnerability…Now That’s Presidential!
- Hide and seek (canarybeck.wordpress.com)
- Take Down Your Walls (zenrevolution.wordpress.com)
The reason it can be so lonely at the top is because people forget to bring good people with them. The top is just like the rest of life except you have more. There is more for people to take from you, more for people to hate you about and more things for people to misunderstand about you. You will be used, you will be hated and you will be misunderstood because although your title changed, life did not change and people didn’t change. So if you were lonely at the bottom you will still be lonely at the top.
At the top everything is amplified. You become more of whatever you are and life becomes more of whatever it is. What that means is, when you get the bigger title, bigger bank account and bigger events everything is bigger, including the loneliness. You get to experience life’s good and bad in a bigger way. For this reason you should bring good people with you so you will not be lonely.
Sift through the people in your life while you are on your way and find the angels that can accompany you at the top. Share success stories and help each other when needed. Be open to different back grounds and different walks of life. Real friends don’t have to look like you they just have to have the same heart.
When you are successful people will try to ride your coat tail to the top. Don’t let them do that, these are not the people you want to bring. It is easier for them to pull you down than it is for you to pull them up. (That is physics 101.) If someone really has the energy you have motivate them and hold them accountable but don’t carry them. Ask them to hold you accountable too. When you guys get up to the top you can remember the journey and give good advice to those still on their way up.
Make clear choices about the company you keep. Be sure to find friends that compliment your weakness and be useful to each other. Bring hard working, truth telling, like minded individuals to the top with you and you will never feel lonely.
Choosing the company you keep…Now That’s Presidential