The war is over #perception

I have a friend who told me that rich people look down on him because they don’t know he is rich too. When he is in a room full of people whose income level is the same as his he can see them and feel them thinking that he is in the wrong place. He says when they find out he is a colleague they wonder how did he get there.

Court side seats

That was hard for me to believe and when I went out with him I didn’t see what he saw. People thinking I have as much money as they do is not important to me so maybe that is why I couldn’t see or feel what he was going through. What I did observe was, people who were different from him wanting to know more about him. I did notice that his guards were up and people could sense that so they didn’t get too close to him. I tried explaining this to him but he disagreed. He was sure his feelings were correct.

I shared this story with him. Before I was on Extreme Makeover the size and shape of my lips bothered me. From the time I was 10 years old until I was 29 years old I knew that when I heard people laugh they were laughing at my lips. It did not matter if it was kids, teenagers or adults laughing, my thoughts were the same. If I walked into a room and laughter started I was 100% sure they were laughing at me.

One day just a few months after my lips surgery I was in LA riding in my car with the windows down. A car pulled up on the side of me and the people inside began to laugh. I immediately thought, huh, I wonder what’s so funny. I wished I would have heard the joke. I drove away and didn’t think much more about it until it hit me.

Wait a minute I didn’t think they were laughing at my lips this time. Is that because they were gone? Oh my goodness you mean to tell me that all these years people may not have been laughing at me? You mean to tell me that people just pull up in cars and laugh about random stuff. They stand around at events and laugh at random stuff? Are you saying at parks, when kids are playing, they have other things to laugh about besides my lips?

That is when I realized that all this time before I had my lip surgery I was thinking that people were laughing at me and many times they weren’t. However, because I perceived it that way the first and only thing I would always think was that they were laughing at me. Once I had my lip surgery the thought never entered my mind that they were laughing at me. It was all my perception.

My friend could be experiencing the same thing I experienced. Rich people are not laughing at him or judging him he is just perceiving it that way. Maybe it’s something else and he has created this in his mind because of some past experiences.

You have to let go of the idea that everything is about you because it’s not. If you shift the focus a little bit you can enjoy the moment more and put your guard down. Sure sometimes people are laughing at you or judging you but that may be 1% of the time. The other 99% you are creating drama for yourself. Relax, now that you know the war is over.

Laughing out loud…Now That’s Presidential!


About Kiné Corder

Kine' Corder is a best selling author, speaker, and member of the Financial Therapy Association. Formerly a Morgan Stanley Financial Advisor and currently a Financial Therapist Kiné runs Presidential Lifestyle, a financial wellness company focused on wealth in all of it's forms. View all posts by Kiné Corder

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