What is your Facebook status: Single, married, divorced, it’s complicated? A lot of people ask what my Facebook status is because I don’t have it posted. Well I am single, have never been married and I do not have children. All of this is by design. My goals as a little girl where to travel, have a career and earn enough money to do whatever I wanted. Having children and getting married where not on my list of things to do. I thought you had to choose between your hopes and dreams and having a family. Now I know that you can design your own lifestyle and create the situation you want.
Some people choose to make their children their life and that is okay if that is truly what they want. It is also ok to not want that at all. I have friends that are married, single, divorced, widowed or in situations that are so complicated it is hard to give it a name. I personally have enjoyed being single. However, I was also in a serious relationship where I got to be a step-mom. I was also a single mom for 2 years when I had a foster daughter.
There is beauty in all the titles and situations that come with life. There is a psychological and physiological need to want companionship. However, it is society who has set out to make you feel guilty or less than if you don’t get married and have children.
I’ve been called a recluse, aloof, strange, selfish and a few other things just because I prefer to be single with no children. What they say doesn’t bother me because most of the people who say it are miserable in whatever lifestyle they have chosen. The only name they should call me is happy. I knew what I wanted when I was a little girl and I got it.
I have basically set out to prove that the reason the divorce rate is so high is because most people male or female want to be single. No they do not want to be alone. I am not saying that, especially when it comes to raising children. Most people want some kind of partnership but most people are not willing to do what it takes to be happy in that kind of situation. Their behavior says that they want to be single and when they continue to behave that way it leads to divorce. When you want to control someone or you really think you all are going to become one you are saying, in your thoughts and actions, that you want to be single. Get it? Single is one. So when you want to become one you are trying to become single again. If you say you want someone to take care of you than you don’t want to be married you want to be raised. There are going to be things that are your responsibility. It may not be your job to bring in the money but it may be your job to build up and support the one who does.
Being married is harder than being single and most people do not realize that. The vows say, and it is true, that marriage is a covenant that should not be entered into lightly. I have considered it and I do not think I can handle it. I want to be in a happy, healthy relationship but I want to be able to make adjustments as we see fit as the years pass. In marriage there is no control, no freedom, no solo decisions, you have to consider how the other person will feel about everything you do, even the small stuff and you are not allowed to change. These are the 5 reasons marriage sucks.
What does “til death do us part” mean to you? It is not a romantic Shakespearean quote. It is the vows you will commit to when you get or got married. Forever is a mighty long time. If you are single or divorced consider the incredible life you can have dating and exploring people. If you are married remember what we discussed her today. Enjoy the fact that you do not have to make every decision or pay every bill or wipe every nose. You have someone to share all the work with.
I still believe that being single is an exciting adventure that you can turn into the perfect lifestyle with a little coaching and direction. I will consult the first single person and the first divorced person who emails me free for 90 days. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Let’s talk about how you can be happy single. I have done it so I can show you.
Exploring your options….Now That’s Presidential!