This blog is brought to you by contributing writer (and my editor) Francine Simmons. She is sharing her motherhood experiences with us. Thank you for sharing Francine.

I have seen adults who are only considered adults because of their age. Mentally they struggle and can’t handle even the smallest part of adulthood. I wondered why and how this happens. Was something missing in their childhood? Did their parents fail to allow them to grow? Were other people making decisions for them?  

As parents we have an obligation to raise our kids to be responsible adults. Part of being an adult is making hard decisions. The other part is accepting these decisions. That’s how I was raised and how I am raising my daughter. It is important that she learn these lessons now because I will not always be there to make decisions for her and I want her to know that there are consequences for every action, decision and inaction.

I told my 14 year old daughter that her room has to be clean everyday. She could do it at night or in the morning, that was her choice. As time went on she was not cleaning her room at all. I started waking her up at 6:00a.m.every morning to clean her room. She hated this idea and saw it as me being unfair until I showed her how she could have done it differently.  She had the chance to do it her way but she missed it. She began to realize that she needed to be pushed in order to stay focused.  This simple change showed her how to be responsible, the consequences for her actions and to understand that excuses are just that…excuses.  Ultimately, she was proud of herself and so was I. 

As life goes on responsibilities will increase and decisions will get harder, so it is imperative to keep pushing kids past their comfort zone. Childhood is over by the age of 18 and expectations increase every year after that point. Whether you want to or not at some point our children have to grow up. When you put your foot down and when you give them the tools to survive you put them in a position to not only grow, but to succeed. We can’t always be there to guide our kids and nothing seems more rewarding then to see your child become an independent adult. So wouldn’t it be easy if we started with clean your room or else….?



About Kiné Corder

Kine' Corder is a best selling author, speaker, and member of the Financial Therapy Association. Formerly a Morgan Stanley Financial Advisor and currently a Financial Therapist Kiné runs Presidential Lifestyle, a financial wellness company focused on wealth in all of it's forms. View all posts by Kiné Corder

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