A month ago today I lost one of my best friends, my Grandmother Dorothy Wilburn. On the outside it seems that life has returned to its normal routine. The Sun continues to revolve around the Earth and the Earth is still spinning on its axes. However, my world seems to be a little off-center.
What use to be normal routine like let me call Granny and ask her if Beyoncé is pregnant or if Usher’s divorce is final, can’t happen anymore. That’s what I use to do to get my entertainment news, call Granny. Granny was connected. She use to joke that the entertainers called her to vent about their lives. Truth is she watched all the magazine shows so she knew in real-time what was happening in entertainment, when and where. Then, once we got her on the internet she knew Usher’s divorce was final before he did. Granny would know everything from whose album went platinum to who slept with who last. It was an ongoing joke between my friends and I that my Granny was going to take my place in the group.
She was the sweetest and coolest old lady you ever wanted to meet. She use to come to all my performances and sing along to my songs. When we hung out she could always make me laugh. Granny took advantage of all the world had to offer. At 85 she saw everything from The Great Depression, World War II, Computers, cell phones and Facebook. In fact Granny had a Facebook page, an email account, and a cell phone.
She saw so much of the world and she encouraged me to do the same. She was very hard-working and never complained when I worked long hours. She would just say “Kiné when you have time can you come over and help your Granny do something.” And I would say yes Granny I can come after work or I can come on the weekend and whatever I said it was always fine with her. The most amazing thing she would do is know exactly what food I had a taste for. Whenever I would come to her house it seemed like she could read my mind because without even telling her what I wanted she would have it ready when I got to her house. It was so amazing. I loved how she could do that. I pray I am that connected to my loved ones so that I can make them happy the way she made me happy.
The best decision I made this year so far was deciding not to go to a party and spend New Year’s Eve with my Granny. We would do that sometimes. We would watch New York, Chicago and then Los Angeles bring in the new year. And then she would tell me about parties she and my Grandfather use to go to and how much fun they use to have. It was great every time we did it. This year however she was in the hospital and she couldn’t stay awake to see all the celebrations but we didn’t care as long as we were together.
Today I learned that life goes on….and though it will never be the same, I will never forget the way it was. So you learn to cook like Granny and you share it with the world. You take the best of her, like how she let people be themselves and she never stopped learning. I pray she left me the power to be calm and easy-going.
I want to be light and lady-like and free like she was. I want to do nice things for people no matter what they do for me or who they are. I want to stop expecting people to be like me and just expect them to be their best. I don’t want to be afraid of love. I want to love so deep and so real and I want to let people love me the same way back. And most of all I want to have fun.
When Granny died they said she was trying to get out of the bed. I wonder where she was going. Do you think she was trying to meet God halfway? I bet she was…cause she was nice like that. Never wanted anyone to go out of their way for her. I bet she is baking God his favorite cake right now. And I know he is happier than he has ever been.
I’m so glad I got to know her.
Life goes on so don’t let it go on with out you. Make your mark. Be remembered and give of yourself with out expectations. Live and give.
Thanks to Granny, THEY NOW HAVE CAKE IN HEAVEN!